You don’t have to like Sansa Stark.
BUT THE THING IS:
You rail against her ‘stupidity,’ claim this romantic preteen girl should somehow know better than to have an open heart and a trusting nature and a child’s innocence. As if these qualities are something to disparage. As if her idealism being taken advantage of by her many abusers is her fault.
And then, she learns her lesson, puts her guard up around Tyrion, a Lannister, second son of the family that literally ruined her entire life. She refuses to trust him, can’t see herself loving him, and damn well doesn’t want to have sex with him no matter how nicely he asks. Do you think she’s smart now?
Nope, you think she’s an ungrateful bitch.
This is a trap—and if you’re a woman, it’s one that looks plainly, painfully familiar.
So you don’t have to like Sansa Stark.
But if you hate her, you might have to consider the possibility that you are—consciously or unconsciously—a huge misogynist.
the fight is not over yet: so according to an infographic someone shared on my fb wall, i... →
so according to an infographic someone shared on my fb wall, i basically need to go out somewhere & get a suit or something to wear to interviews especially. according to the graphic, employers don’t want people who look “fashionable” or “trendy,” that “bright colors” are a “turn-off,” & that…I agree. My appearance has nothing to do with how well I might do a job. My tattoos do not preclude me from being a hard worker. My haircut does not stop me from being a good teacher. My facial piercings did not cause me to have bad customer service.
However, this is the sad, judgmental society in which we live. We don’t have to give a shit about how we look. We just have to give the appearance of giving a shit. It’s all about appearances.
I think once the Boomers are gone, this might start to change. I hope. I really, really, really hope. But in the meantime, we need money, so we acquiesce to their ridiculous requests. We need money, so we shave our legs. We need money, so we get rid of our beards. We need money, so we strap ourselves into uncomfortable clothing and downright harmful shoes.
Sigh.Although I think this may be the case sometimes, I don’t think it is always the case when it comes to an interview.
I had my first interview for a teaching position recently. I have bright, HD dyed red hair that is definitely not natural and a penchant for thick, black eyeliner and brownish-orangey eyeshadow. I wore black pants, a white and orange striped shirt from Old Navy (not a blouse but not exactly a t-shirt either), no cardigan or blazer (because I live in Arizona with no air conditioning in my car and it’s May, people), and I wore my rainbow striped socks which were quite visible through my Walmart Mary Janes. In the interview, I admitted to being an English nerd while answering interview questions with a mixture of my vernacular and the language of pedagogy. I admitted that this was my first interview for a teaching position and when asked if I had others I panicked and heard myself say something about not wanting all of my eggs in one basket. I admitted that I am an anxious ball of stress who likes to unwind with cheesy music and a nice game of solitaire. I was me.
Upon coming home from this interview, I immediately started to panic about being so honestly me. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I panicked, thinking that I did not look appropriately professional enough to assume the part of an Aspiring English Teacher Who Should Be Hired Instead of All of the Other Qualified Candidates. I chastised myself for wearing such bright stripes, not applying neutral makeup, and speaking semi-informally. I began to doubt the appropriateness of being me.
A few hours later, a very nervous and unsure me received a call. I was offered the teaching position and told I would be a great fit at this school. I didn’t have to wear a dark-colored suit or dress socks. I didn’t have to pretend to be A Particularly Somber and Respectable Adult, either. Obviously, I didn’t come into this interview unprepared to answer important questions. I am qualified for the job. I was wearing clean clothes that weren’t pajamas, etc. But I was able to be a professional that didn’t completely contradict who I also am as a person.
I think there is hope to be someone beyond the stereotypical Somber a Respectable Adult/Aspiring Professional without having to look or behave to fit a single mold.
The system IS changing. I do think teachers have a little more freedom when it comes to appearances than many other professions — especially customer service positions.
the fight is not over yet: so according to an infographic someone shared on my fb wall, i... →
so according to an infographic someone shared on my fb wall, i basically need to go out somewhere & get a suit or something to wear to interviews especially. according to the graphic, employers don’t want people who look “fashionable” or “trendy,” that “bright colors” are a “turn-off,” & that…
I agree. My appearance has nothing to do with how well I might do a job. My tattoos do not preclude me from being a hard worker. My haircut does not stop me from being a good teacher. My facial piercings did not cause me to have bad customer service.
However, this is the sad, judgmental society in which we live. We don’t have to give a shit about how we look. We just have to give the appearance of giving a shit. It’s all about appearances.
I think once the Boomers are gone, this might start to change. I hope. I really, really, really hope. But in the meantime, we need money, so we acquiesce to their ridiculous requests. We need money, so we shave our legs. We need money, so we get rid of our beards. We need money, so we strap ourselves into uncomfortable clothing and downright harmful shoes.
Sigh.
I swear to God if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police.
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
If you want to understand me, read this:
Myers-Briggs Type: INFP
I am Introverted. I can’t recharge my batteries unless I have time alone or with one person close to me.
I am iNtuitive. I function based on the underlying meanings of things rather than on what my five senses tell me.
I Feel. I make decisions based on the emotions of others and those of myself, rather than using straight-up logic. I am sensitive. I feel everything very, very deeply.
I am Perceptive. I pick up on the little details that others miss, and I see connections that others might not.
Also, unrelated to Myers-Briggs: I am empathic as all hell.
I know what people are feeling without them telling me. I often begin to mirror the feelings of others and mistake those emotions for my own. I am strongly affected by other peoples’ moods. Negative energy knocks me for a loop, every time. I am working on building emotional armor, but it is difficult.
oddly developed types INFP description
INFPs are quiet, sensitive people who enjoy meditating upon connections and meanings in the universe around them. Lost in dreams, fantasies and ideals, they may seem distant at first, but are in fact one of the warmest and kindest of all types—once you get get to know them, of course.
One type practitioner has suggested that INFPs are the least likely to stand up for themselves; their gentle nature and their dislike for negative emotions mean that they avoid conflict even at their own expense. But the same practitioner noted that INFPs can be more willing to stand up for themselves if they see that someone else will be hurt if they do not (add citation).
Since INFPs tend to hide their feelings, an offender may not realize that they have saddened or angered them. Tieger has suggested that these sorts of unaired griefs may lead to resentment that will eventually cause an INFP to cut a person out of their life without explanation. INFPs don’t wear their feelings on their sleeves, but since those feelings are so tender they are more apt to be hurt than people think. A word or act that another type might brush off can be damaging to a soft-hearted INFP. By the same token, criticism should be approached with particular gentleness and consideration. If possible, the emphasis should be placed upon how oneself or others are being hurt by the INFP’s behavior rather than on the negative actions/qualities that are causing issues.
INFPs have a strong independent streak, which one might not guess from their desire for harmony. In fact, the top values that INFPs chose were “Home/family,” then “Autonomy,” then “Health,” then “Friendships,” then “Financial security” (Myers, McCaulley, Quenk & Hammer, 1998). (Money usually tends to fall near the end of INFP lists.) INFPs were also among the top types for “Autonomy” and “Creativity.” Whatever an INFP does—whether work or play—it must have personal meaning for them and should bring a little more light to the world. And doing it independently is a big plus too.
INFPs, like all NFs, have a strong sense of metaphor. This may lead to the anthromorphization of animals or inanimate objects. For example, they may see a fly sitting on the glass and wonder what it is thinking, then come up with a meaningful story about how it feels to be separated from everything you desire by an invisible wall. Or an INFP may feel sorry for an inanimate object, i.e. they may feel secretly feel bad for an old bottle of shampoo that is being heartlessly replaced by the new bottle they just bought. The metaphorical abilities of the INFPs cause them to see things as alive and possessing feelings—not that they actually believe this, but they cannot help but imagine it. (One wonders how they feel about eating animal crackers.) In fairy tales one often hears of a woman who takes pity on the ants, cat, etc, only to find out that the creature is intelligent and grateful. The stories that INFPs create in their hearts are somewhat similar, though modernism has taken the pleasure out of getting a reward for one’s deeds of kindness.
Tieger believed that the INFPs were the most idealistic type. Keirsey suggested that many INFPs will take on a cause and crusade for it, or go on a quest to bring good to others. For example, Isabel Myers spent many years advocating the Myers-Briggs type inventory test as a way for people to understand themselves and each other. The webpage you are reading right now came about as a direct result of an INFP’s dedication to helping the world.
INFPs have a set of inner values that they adhere to without compromise. People who attempt to coerce INFPs in this area may be surprised to find that instead of kicking a soft, yielding pillow, their foot has impacted an immovable block of granite.
In areas other than personal values, INFPs are Perceivers to the core—messy, flexible, adaptable, open-minded and bound to neither timetables nor plans. Comfortable with improvising on the fly, INFPs deal well with the unexpected.
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INFPs, like all Perceivers, enjoy a relaxed, casual working environment without tight deadlines or strict rules. Structured work with lots of little details to remember does not appeal to them; they would rather work creatively with freedom to improvise. An INFP’s work should be personally meaningful; again, money is not their bottom line. They do not like strict supervision, a competitive atmosphere, or interpersonal conflict. These things hit INFPs harder than most other types. As introverts they draw their energy from peaceful, quiet external surroundings; jobs with noise and bustle may be draining, particularly if high levels of interpersonal contact are required.
The most important work environment characteristics for INFPs were “Independence and Achievement” (liked by over 80% of the type) and “Variety of tasks” (Myers et al., 1998). Furthermore, INFP were one of the types that most liked “Independence and achievement” and “People from different backgrounds” in comparison to other types. This fits in well with the fact that one of the biggest INFP values was “Autonomy.”
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Keirsey (1998) has noted that teachers much enjoy their INFP students, who are among the most positive and affirming members of the class. (However, if the teacher assigns academic weight to classroom participation, the INFP’s grades may suffer since they prefer to remain quietly in the background.)
INFPs consistently come up as third or fourth most likely type to be assigned the “gifted” label and receive high aptitude scores (Myers et al., 1998). They also come up as the fourth or fifth type mostly likely to receive high grades.
A very small study of language learners found that those with the preferences I, N, F, and P get better grades in foreign language courses in college (Ehrman & Oxford, 1990). Note, however, that preference trends are not the same as an actual type; Ehrman & Oxford’s study actually included only two INFPs. You can read the entire study here. Moody (1988) found that there were 1.42 times as many INFPs as would be expected in a group of first and second year language students. You can read the whole study here.
Unfortunately, college is an unhappy time for many INFPs; they are the most likely of all types to report suicidal thoughts during this period (Komisin, 1992). A study also found that they were among the top two most frequent violators of a school’s alcohol policy (Barrineau, 1997).
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NFPs are generally reluctant to lead. Not that they can’t. Usually, they simply don’t want to, and thus don’t get chances to practice their skills. Indeed, an INFP would rather be the supportive follower who encourages their leader and gives them the confidence they need on their quest.
When INFPs do find themselves in leadership positions, they tend to have a style that shows itself in creating an accepting, encouraging environment for people to discover themselves and experiment. They empathize with the feelings of their followers and seek to build consensus around shared goals that are arrived at through open communication. INFPs are “we” leaders who do not want to impose so much as support, channel, and facilitate the will of the group.
However, they may find themselves in trouble when it comes to the inevitable confrontation with the group troublemaker, or the need to lay down the law for the best interests of everyone on the team. Leaders are considered fair game for criticism, and INFPs take criticism hard. These are areas for improvement, not limitations. INFPs can pick up these skills with practice and experience—though there may be stress-filled growing pains.
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NFPs love writing and are heavily overrepresented among students in creative writing courses. As noted previously, one of the job prospects for INFPs was Writing. In this age of internet, where anyone can publish an e-book, this may be a profitable hobby indeed.
Another activity that INFPs significantly preferred was “Appreciating Art.” The pastime of “Reading” was also enjoyed, as was “Listening to music.” INFP pastimes often have a solitary component; they enjoy the peace of a quiet room or library to focus on their projects.
INFPs did not see “Achievement/accomplishment very important” as one of their preferred leisure time uses.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
Being a sensitive person sucks assholes.
I can’t stop pissing people off and annoying them. I effing hate me right now.
Get ready for more text posts from me.
I am relegating all of my personal shit to Tumblr, because if I post about my feelings on Facebook, some people get offended or want to tell me I am wrong about my own life. Also, apparently it annoys people when I am open and honest about shit.
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